ATTRACTION OR DISTRACTION...

ATTRACTION OR DISTRACTION...

Love a feeling that can bring two people Together,

A feeling that can bind them Forever.

Sometimes a Man and a Lady can look up at the same time and their eyes Meet,

The attraction is so great that they are moved to the edge of their Seat.

Their hearts racing and beating so Loud,

Fortunately the feeling is mutual and they become ever so Proud.

A great connection mounts from There,

And they are seen together Everywhere.

Then later at their alone times, they begin to wonder what attracted them to each Other,

They can’t seem to phantom the true reasons and it just remain a Bother.

Nothing else stays in their mind but the other person's Face,

It could be the physique or confidence and it could be her qualities or the way she walks with Grace.

The distraction grows as the day passes By,

You just can’t seem to tell the thoughts Goodbye.

You just smile even at the odd and unlikely Moments,

Like someone running an advert for Close up or Pepsodent.

You see the person in almost everything you Do,

Still how and why it happens you don’t seem to have a Clue.

Its true many love stories may not all begin this Way,

But you'll agree it’s a force of Attraction and Distraction especially when the feeling takes your breath Away...

WRITEN BY MacKennery Heartz...

EDITED BY Nakelium 

RELATIONSHIPS and its REAL meaning

RELATIONSHIPS and its REAL meaning

  

       "I use to believe that being in a relationship was just a time to taste (sex), eat cookies, go to eateries, party together and have fun and sincerely it was easy to pick another partner if I wasn't getting what I wanted, I couldn't just waste time......”.

      It never occurred to me that a relationship is an avenue to build the wall of the future together with love and prayer but then the moment I got a better understanding of God I had a better understanding of what a relationship should be, I realized that if I couldn't be supportive as a fiancée or as a friend I really won't be supportive as a wife and mother. I learnt that if I won't seek God for my fiancé or friends then I might not be able to seek God for my husband and children.

      Friends! It’s fun to be in a relationship but relationships are much more than mere physical requirements and satisfaction.

     Without sexual activities two people can remain in long term relationships and extract the happiness and satisfaction from it. Thinking that sex is everything in a relationship may damage the intensity and the purpose of such union.

      In loving relationships, it’s normal for both people to occasionally sacrifice their own desires, their own needs, and their own time for one another. I would say this is a necessary condition of a great relationship.

     But when it comes to sacrificing one’s self-respect, one’s dignity, one’s physical body, one’s ambitions and life purpose, just to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic.    

      Every relationship is meant to increase our self-dignity and supplement our individual identity, not damage it or replace it.        

         

Purity principles promote happy relationships with no regrets.

WRITTEN BY Anita Babatunde

EDITED BY Nakelium

Relationships: its realities and solutions

Relationships: its realities and solutions

                           

Relationships are one of the hardest things in this world for anyone, but they're the foundation of our existence and they keep life moving on. If it is a subject or a course unit, it will be one of the hardest of courses and many will have be getting countless of retakes or let me say carry overs.
But what makes them so hard? Well, it’s we humans. How?

We lie a lot,

We aren't open enough,

We don't know what we want,

We don't value what we have,

We cheat a lot,

We aren't loyal,

We aren't contented with what we have,

We have different interests and values,

We are careless,

We are totally imperfect

We have a lot of baggage that we carry with us which is too heavy to bear and off load and many other things.

If we were good people in all those things then relationships would have been a walk over in this world. So, if you have someone who shows that he or she really love and care about you and they want to make you happy in their own ways, just count yourself lucky and blessed.

Be generous to that person, return the same love and keep them in the safest place in your heart because such people are rare to find.

When you truly love somebody you will never quit. You will never give up no matter the problem; you will still love even more.s

What to do.

Walk into this love deeper and deeper.

Fight for your love.

Cry for in the corner.

But always get up and always stand next to loving person-even when he or she is million mile from you.

Protect your loved one like a Lion

Like an eagle welcome your love with your wings open wide.

Swallow all pain.

But never turns back from person who loves you.

You will never regret this.

Never give up.

Have faith.

Love will always lead you.

Always know that true love will bring you both together

You have to wait and work this out.

You will bless this day and remember it forever with smile on your face...........

By Shantel

Edited by Nakelium

How to keep your relationship

How to keep your relationship

I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. 
Love cannot help you stick to one person all years round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner. 
In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee you not falling in love with any other person.
Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart; it works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self-discipline. This is because time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, and curvy even more God fearing than the one you're in a relationship with. In those times, love will not help you, self-control will help you, and emotional intelligence will come to your rescue commitment will keep you going. With these characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.
You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married? 
You think they don't feel funny sometimes? 
You think they don't catch feelings? 
They do!

But understanding that COMMITMENT is greater than FEELINGS is the great arsenal that does destroy that impulse.
You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them. 
It takes more than love. 
We are fond of loving when it's convenient, when it's sweet. 
We are also fond of loving when love is there but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship. 
After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped; it's now your responsibility to make it work, not love's responsibility.
Relationships are not readymade. 
You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment, it requires intelligent. 
On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, its determination and commitment.

Everyone fall in love, it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? 
Building a relationship? 
Only the strong and committed ones do that. 
That's why we must find that one person and be ready to commit one’s self to that one, discipline yourself, and bridle your emotions.
Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream. 
It's always tough, at some point it will be so bitter but always that you can make it work and that is by putting heads together, you can scale through the trying time by being focus and committed.
Always remember that the kind of love that attracts you guys together is not the same love that will keep you together. 

·         Be emotionally strong. 

·         Be self-disciplined. 

·         Sticking to one person is not natural.                      

·         Develop yourself to face challenges.

·         Remember to trust God

It works great and perfect with people of like minds, people of the same believes or let me say faith, people that share the school of thought.

Written by David

Edited by Nakelium 

A LETTER TO COUPLES AND THOSE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED

A LETTER TO COUPLES AND THOSE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED

FOR OUR MEN:

Carry your wife to the bed when she sleeps off in the sitting room; make her feel like a baby at times. The truth is, every woman wants to be treated like a 2 years old girl at times, that's why women behave childish or silly at times.
You may have an argument with your wife and the next thing is that you will see her putting her bags outside the house; it doesn't mean she is asking for a divorce, she is just being childish; she simply wants you to hold her, look her in the eyes and say "I am sorry for the argument".
That's women for you. Every man needs to study in the University of Women before getting married, read books about them learn what the Bible says about them and you will hardly have a problem with them.
Though there may still be some challenges, because you're both from different background and your imperfections are bound to stand.
So, read books about marriage, an ideal home, child upbringing, importance of marriage and the likes. Don't just jump into marriage with an empty head about matrimony, you will have problems.
How many men can tolerate their wives nagging let alone shouting? It's said that, you should be quiet when your spouse is angry, when one person is fire, the other person should be water.
Men, when your wife steps on your feet intentionally or mistakenly, don't let your eyes turn red, just smile at her, if she did it intentionally, she is just playing with you, if she did it mistakenly, and it’s not her fault. So why shout at her over every small mistake?
As a man learn to ignore some things, don't be petty. Some men are feminist; Do "hide and seek" with your wife, sing poems for your wife in the garden or inside the house, even if she is teasing you. 
Assist her in the house chores, pound yam, fetch water, and don’t make her look like your maid. Bathe together, wake her up for prayers, swim with her if it's available, cook together, and teach her how to cook if she doesn't know how to cook. Cooking is not the ticket to Paradise. It's not only a feminine duty.
Use blind folds to cover her eyes and tickle her, scare her at times, call her from work/ school, text her, write "I love you" in a small note and put it under her pillow or in her purse or in her bathroom or in her cosmetics box or inside her cupboard. Kiss her always, cuddle her, pamper her and play with her hair. Always tell her, she's beautiful and that you're happy to have her as your partner.
All these are part of being romantic...When a woman tells you that you are not romantic. It means you are not doing all these things, its not the romance in the bedroom she is talking about. That's why, you men have to study "women's language" it's a 10 year course.

FOR LADIES:

It is part of your duty to be romantic too. Your shyness shouldn't get to your marital life and that doesn't mean you should be shy to express your love to your husband.
Send sweet text messages to your husband at work, sometimes even if you are in the room discussing with your husband, still be chatting with him on social media (Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, Imo, bbm etc) even though he is right in front of you, it's fun and romantic! Discuss how lovely he is on your Facebook timeline; this will trip him a lot.
You should be chatting with your husband, not other men on social media networks.
Buy flowers for him. When eating, give him the biggest meat. At times, bake cake for him to surprise him. Ladies, use your soft voice to sing for him, be creative, a poem like (twinkle, twinkle lovely spouse, how I wonder what you are, up above my world so high, like a diamond in my heart).
Sing poems for him, no shyness is allowed. Don't just be welcoming your husband with an angry face because there is no money in the house, God is our provider. Don't welcome your husband with your body smelling Maggi; don't only play with your husband when he receives his salary.
Welcome him with a warm hug always, and when he is going to work, pray to God to keep him safe and for him to be successful. Support him, advise him, wipe his tears, be grateful to him, it's not easy to be a man, when you see his faith waxing cold, encourage him, don't threaten him that you will seek for divorce, don't compare him with other men, buy him gifts, wash his clothes, sing for him, praise him in a way that he wouldn't think of an alternative, be the best cook, wash his car if u have the time, dress him up, pamper him when he is sick.
Wake him with a peck and don't complain about his snoring habit.
Let kiss be the messenger between you. Read books on intimacy, don't learn it from what you see in movies..
Most of what you see there are not real. Call your husband pet names. Call him by his name even if he is 30 years older than you, so far as he is comfortable with it.
Remember that, God said, men are the protectors and maintainers of women. So respect him and honor him even if he is younger than you. Marriage isn't a bed of roses but a bed of sacrifice. It's said that, there is nothing better for two people who love each other than marriage. 
To fall in love is a disease and its cure is to marry the person one is in love with. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance and you find out you still care for that person.

Finally, married men, divide your nights into 3: one for yourself (sleeping), one for your wife and one for your GOD.... That's the best night one can ever have.


LOVE MAKING IS ONLY FOR MARRIED PEOPLE. IF U CAN'T HOLD BACK, PLZ GET MARRIED.
I WISH YOU LOVE.

Written by Shantel.

Edited by Nakelium.

Friend

Friend

Friendship, one of life's most valuable thing. World's survival depends on communication and interrelationships with others. In life, we can't handle hour problems ourselves. We need some one that would always be there for us.We have different friends for several reasons. Your friend is someone's enemy. Friendship brings happiness and contentment.

But who can we call a friend?
1. A common saying a friend is someone closer than a brother.
2. Someone sticking close when you in need.
3. Someone you enjoy been with.
4. Someone loyal to you.
5. Someone who makes you smile.
6. Someone who finds no pleasure in hurting you.
7. Someone kind to you.
8. Someone who respects you.
9. Someone ready to listen to you.
10. Someone who is ready to cry and laugh with you.

   “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Tips on been a better friend:
We shall consider five factors that aids friendship.
  

1. Listening
Communication is needed in friendship to grow. Listening though not easy, a true friend tries to know what bothers the mind of friend. Asking question to prove you care. Giving advice when needed would also be appreciated.

2. Facts
Friendship is based on what you heard, know and feel about the individual. Information about what you heard and know about your friend matters a lot. If they true, this grow into intimacy. You, with this know his do and don't thing that make him happy and angry.

3. Time
Spending time together for recreation fosters the growth of friendship. What if distance is the problem? Well...... Calls messages show you still care about the person.

4. Idea sharing
Tell your friend what you think and feel about something this will help them know they are important and this goes a long way.

5. Deciding
Sometimes, you need to act for your friend. Since you already know a lot about your friend, you know what please them and you know how he or she would have rejected if he is live in the situation.

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” ― Helen Keller

There are different types of friends

1. Acquaintance  Though this is the first step in a relationship, but some people won't pass this stage in your friendship rank. They are people in your school, recreational centres, streets, work place etc. They are those you just greet. You would be fine without them.

2. Coach
Someone who gives you ideas and advice. Someone keen on you. He sees something in you and wants to develop it. He wants you to achieve your dream. He is your mentor

3. Companions
Someone who is there to make you laugh during distress. He there to give relief during pain. Someone that put smile on your face.

4. Challenger
A honest friend. A friend not scared to point your mistake lovingly. He tells you the truth. He stands up against you when he feels you wrong. He attacks you when he hears or sees you do something about you.

5. Loyalist
Someone there, ever there, always there. There through thick and thin. Someone you can tell everything and anything. Someone you feel is closer than a relative. Someone who is willing to carry your load for you. Someone you feel free to pour your feeling to

WHICH ARE YOU TO YOUR FRIENDS?

a letter to a bride

a letter to a bride

Rejoice O you chosen out of many capable women

Become the crown of your husband like the capable woman in Proverbs 12:4
May his family with joy and happiness recite Proverbs 18:22

Never look back as did Lot's wife
Instead, like rehab save your family.
Never shift blames like Eve
Instead, like Martha accept corrections.
Never become a Delilah to your husband
Instead, like Abigail be discreet and respectful.
Never become the stupid wife in Proverbs 9:13-18
Instead like Lydia pay attention to your husband.
Never become the irritating and quarrelsome wife in Proverbs 22:19
Instead like Hannah be supportive and prayerful.

May you be blessed with children like Samuel and Esther who for true worship, stood.
And not be lawless like Dinah nor Esau whose family right wasn't important to.

O how true are your words O king Lumel?
May you always keep minding his words in Proverbs 31

Let your beauty not be the external like 1 Peter 3:3.
Instead it should be your heart according to verse 4.
By your doing good and not giving in to fear, become Sarah's daughter in verse 6.
Never for once forget to be in subjection to your husband according to Ephesians 5:22.

Contentment and satisfaction I will beseech for you
Continually, I shall ask for fulfillment for you
Wisdom and understanding like Solomon I shall request on your behalf
Happiness and God's approval I shall petition on your behalf
All these for you in your soon to begin life.

May the undeserved kindness of the lord Jesus in revelation 22:21 be with you and your husband.
Amen

written by Nakelium

found love?

found love?

The word beauty is not suitable to express your exquisiteness.
A new word should be etymologized to communicate your glamour.
Beauty seems to be too common and unsuitable for a princess like you.

Too early for infatuation, but I need a light when am dark.

Your face is brighter than a full moon.
Your smile is more beautiful than a morning sun.

Your beauty and humor made me lost so I couldn't help but convey it.
Scared of falling in love again but another trial for you won't be bad.

Saw you in my dream. Kissed you a thousand times.

Woke and you not here. Would kiss you to show am real.
Saw you that night and immediately knew you right for me.

Though not the first time of feeling love.
But i never held the moon this long.

I know what I want.
Won't stop till I have it(you).

Like an eagle my sigh is fixed and my aim is high.
No mountain is too high to climb to you.

Want to be with you when you scared and alone.
Whisper my name when your heart cries for love.

Getting you would lead to consequence.
But am ready for it.

Found love?

How hateful love treated me.

How hateful love treated me.

Those who once looked for me, why do they later flee?

With no shoes, they peep through my windows;

They’ve once been docile, friendly and tender,

How wild have they grown? How short their memories that they forget easily?

Then I saw how friends became enemies.

All for my love.

Riches! Riches!! Oh Riches!!!

Thou need to be acknowledged.

Once? No over and over for you are exceptional,

In squeaky display, after a pleasing appearance,

When her slack evening dress falls from her shoulders,

And she caught me in her arms long and small,

And there with lovely kisses all over me,

And she said, 'Dear love, do you like this?'

Am I dreaming?  No I am awake.

Days ago, I do remember how you loved me,

Oh why me, Why has thou forsaken me?

Now I have to let go her

And I have leave to go from her desirableness’.

Seeing her displaying a newfangledness brings nothing but pains.

How bad and undesirable has life treated me?

pleasure of love

pleasure of love

I pass all my hours in a sheltered old grove,
But I love the day when I see my love:
I survey every walk now my Phyllis is gone,
And sigh when I think we were there all alone;
O then 'tis, O then that I think there's no Hell
Like loving too well.

But each shade and each conscious bo'wr when I find,
Where I once had been happy and she had been kind,
When I see the print left of her foot in the green,
And imagine the pleasures may yet come again;
O then 'tis, O then that no joy's above 
The pleasures of love.

Whilst alone to myself I repeat all her charms,
She I love may be locked in another man's arms;
She may laugh at my cares and so fla se she may be,
To say the kind things she before said to me,
O then 'tis, O then that I think here's no Hell
Like loving too well.

But when I consider the truth of her heart
Such an innocent passion, so kind without art,
I do fear I have wronged her and so she may be
So full of true love to be jealous of me.
O then 'tis, O then I think no joy's above
the pleasure of love.

AN ELEGY OF MY LOVE

AN ELEGY OF MY LOVE

TO MY EX 

To my dear

Solomon's lust for the shulammite is not comparable to my desire to lure you towards me.
But my lusty love wasn't able to play you a lute.

Was on a low profile before I met you,
but I became loquacious about you to people.

Though short-lived the love,
long-lasting it effect on me.

A love launcher you were to my sturdy heart.
And I wished you would luminate for long.

I will say to my sons pointing to my daughter (regarding you).
"Never love them they are deceptive".

In the lull of my thinking, I saw your ludicrous behaviour.
But I was sceptical that my love would change you.

My loyalty to you, you disregarded with the tip of your finger.
Instead of benevolence, you left a scar on my looted heart.

Friends lost in your lottery.
With clouds of friends, I was lonesome without you.

Who is the accreditor that licentiate you with such life-threaten break up messages?
A message from you made me a clod, a lunatic due to your manic-depression.

Your manifesto would make the dead run.
But u legitimised you actions with your beauty and feelings.

You are a man-drake.
You should be life imprisoned for murdering my heart.

Allow me to litigate the failure of the relationship.
For like an illiterate I failed to notice your dying love (if you ever had).

Your expertise in heart breaks made me learner in my area of specialization.
A certainty is that our time together is a cloud with silver lining.

It high time I visited a launderette.
Erasing your love in my heart.

Find peace and love.

I lugubriously say good bye.

My love.

My last hurrah to my LOVE.

RELATIONSHIP: LOVE and SEX

RELATIONSHIP: LOVE and SEX

RELATIONSHIP: LOVE and SEX

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.” ― Woody Allen

Love is one of the most intent feelings known to man. Love is mostly use to show romantic relationship with someone considered special. Some believe love is the most important thing in their life. It is natural to wish a stable healthy relationship.

Sex on the other hand is known for different reasons to man. Sex sometimes doesn't mean love exist between the two individuals. While some view it as a means of reproduction, other considers it as pleasure.

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” ― Woody Allen

There are different reasons why people have sex. We will consider seven reasons why people have sex and if you ever have sex, try to put yourself in one of the above reasons.

Marital sex: This is the main reason to some why sex was introduced to humans (mostly Christians). Although, some marry in other to have unlimited access to sex (with their partner), it is normal for any married couple to have sex. Most times, there is love in this type of sex. The individuals love themselves, got married and are having unlimited sex.

Espouse sex: This is common to ladies who are lost in love with the guy personalities, physiques, looks and sometimes other irrelevant things. This kind of sex is to show the guy (most cases) that they are suitable for relationship and marriage. Ladies mostly work their way to show that their sex life is even. They mostly pretend to be good future wives by doing his house chores and sometimes go to the extent of financing him. This kind of love is mostly one sided.

Prostitution: This is a job well known since the origination of man. It us a pure give and take. Although, it been modernized. It is the act of dating a guy or a lady purely because of his or her money. Demands (money) are mostly made during sex. The modernized sex at first show a bit of love but the predator knows there is no love.

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

Pleasure sex: This is common to guys, their wanting to taste different ladies. Most of the guys in these categories have some special qualities in them that make females fall in love with them. It might be their looks, smile, personalities, size, and shape to mention but a few. This kind of love is one sided. In this type of relationship, love is one sided due to the others ability to get his prey.

Bargain sex: Similar to prostitution but in a cleverer way, sex is offered for promotions, getting job and maintaining ones status to mention a few. In this kind of relationship, there is no love.

Retaliation sex: This is common between couples either married or not. Having sex with someone else inform of pay back or getting their pound of flesh from their cheating mate. They want the other party to feel what they felt when he or she had sex with an outsider. This form of sex is also for reassurance. To show their mates that they are still look good. This is purely obsession.

Finally, Survival sex: Giving one's body for the substance of the family. Most times, the ladies are known to be involved in this kind of sex. They console themselves and try to convince others that they have no other means of survival.

Why consider love and sex in a relationship?

Sex, is used to raise the intensity of emotions. It helps to show that the couples have feelings for each other.

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” ― Mae West

Are you in a serious or causal relationship? Are you married or just having fun? The elevation experienced during sex is sometimes good and enjoyable. Other times, it is disastrous. It sometimes causes low self-esteem and determination of never falling in love again. It makes a difficult situation worse.

Therefore, it is impudent to know if you ready to have sex or to wait for the time been. Deciding if you’re comfortable holding hands, kissing should depend on both parties. But sex, you have to make a personal decision.

What can help?

Communication.

                Communication is a key to better understanding. No matter how close you are, your partner can never know what's on your mind. Guys find it fun to have sex with lots of girls, but ladies are considered sluts. Therefore, it is perfect to voice your decision.

The best thing to spend on your relationship is time, conversation, understanding and honesty.  -Nakelium

A RELATIONSHIP is stronger if both parties are HONEST with one another.





Premarital sex shouldn't be based on one's conscience. What is bad is bad

Written by Nakelium.