WANT AND NEED (a truce or truth)

WANT AND NEED (a truce or truth)

   For most of us when we were little we all had this notion of what we want to be when we grow up. When someone ask us who we want to be, in our young and innocent minds we begin to dole out series of professions we would like to take up. For example, we want to be an Engineer, a Doctor, a Lawyer, an Architect, a Banker and so on. But what we never knew at that point was what 'life' as it is will throw at us. At that time we never see beyond our noses, rather all we saw was a life full of beautiful roses.

    Still as we grew much older, some under the comfort of their parents or guardians, we still didn't understand where we were heading, because at that point we still didn't know the difference between what we 'wanted' and what we 'needed'. Why? The truth is, for some what they wanted to become actually worked out for them, they attended school or started a business and achieved their lifelong dream in becoming ‘whatever they said they wanted to be, but for the majority it’s in the opposite direction, because one way or the other, life or something happened that altered that notion they had when they were still pretty young.

 

    But wait a minute, in the previous paragraph I'm definitely certain you saw or noticed a word in bold letters right? What is the purpose of that? If you really observed right from the first paragraph, we've been talking about what we want to be when we grow and in the second paragraph we used the word 'whatever' too. The untold fact is, most of us never ponder about this question:  who do I need to be when I grow up or in another way that do I need to be as I grow older?  Now to address this question and to ponder deeply about it, we need to leave what I want to be aside and think of  who I need be .

     The untold truth is, to understand who we need to be, it takes "humility and modesty". Why you may wonder? Well as humans our wants is insatiable, we always want the best of the latest. The latest cars, apartments, shoes, clothes, bags, phones, gadgets and appliances. We even want the current most beautiful ladies and handsome men. The spirit of what we want drives us to a point when we begin to feel desperate, sad and empty despite our present level of various achievements. So how can we be happy within?

    First, we have to understand the value of who we need to be. Why? If we take time to ponder on who we need to be, it will go a long way to helping us know what we need Let's take an instance, if you have learned to be a patient person which is one of the qualities we need, when you observe that a coworker or a friend isn't fast about doing something, you'll understand and easily go with the flow. Or let's say you are expecting something from a person, patience also helps you not to put pressure on them. The same goes for other beautiful qualities that exist.

    Secondly, what we need comes from necessities and essentials. Just to make it easier to understand, you can read these texts on your screen; you can scroll and do other tasks. You can touch, feel, cry, laugh and express yourself through various means. But the question is: Do you know there are millions of people who can't do what you can? Do you know there are millions who need just a pinch of what you can do or possess? So, rather than pursue the things you want, seek   qualities you need because they'll build and help you to knowing your essential. Let's work on who we need to be not what we want to be. Keep your fingers crossed for the next one, entitled. Let me keep you all guessing.

LOVE, LIFE AND LIVE.

MacKennery Heartz

a touch of mine

  

DAY AND BOARDING SCHOOL (Taking the roles of Parenthood)

     It is said that "children are precious gifts from God", they are also "the inheritance" to their parents. But the question is, how should one treat a precious gift when received? And how can one groom or build something to the point of seeing and regard it as an inheritance? To answer this important question, let's first consider some key points that deserve our attention, then we will breakdown the question that was asked earlier. 

  

     Education is the foundation of any child to becoming enlightened about life generally. It is a structure that shapes a child's understanding to growth and development. It plays a key role in helping a child to grow in knowledge, to build and shape his or her mental capacity. It does not stop there.  It is like a drug prescription given by a doctor that needs to be given at the proper time. In other words, education breeds enlightenment. Yet if the prescription and dosage is misused, it could lead to numerous complications that could change the course of a child's growth and development.

 

    It is true every child deserves to be educated, they deserve to be able to identify and relate with other people and their environment. I remember then when my father used to relate what school was back then, though they weren't as advanced as we are in science and technology now, still they were able to make a great deal of the things they learned and knowledge they acquired. Children back then knew when to go, when to be in and the definite time to leave school. Even in the 80s when I was born and the early 90s, school was awesome and fun, even when we didn't have the privilege of attending a private one, the public ones were a master class! We respected our teachers and this sprang a certain positive dread of our teachers, so in order not to be a scapegoat we do our best to please them. Though there were some who still displayed the traits of a goat, but not as rampant as it is everywhere now. 

    To those who lived back then or even before, do you ever remember been in school till 4, 5 or 6pm? Can you recollect been in school when you were just a baby? No I doubt it!! Despite the fact that we got admitted to school when we were much older, still education was at its positive pitch then.

 

    Nowadays, our schools have taken the roles of our dear parents. From infancy, a child is now placed in school and left there till about six in the evening without the touch and attention of the mother. Most of the things the child needs to learn from the mother or father is now a modern course or subject  in our schools. Parents no longer have enough time to spend with their children and some even make worse by sending their wards to boarding schools at a very tender age. When you ask them the reason, they say 'so that the child can learn discipline or be given the proper discipline. But it begs the question:  What is the parent's primary role in the growth and development of their children?  

    It is paramount that before a child is brought forth into this world, parents must ask themselves the above question. It is not mine to tell what should be done or not for the mental, moral, emotional, social or physical growth of their child, but as parents fail to see or understand the value of their role, the bitter truth is,  it is only little that a school can do   because the foundation the parents ought to have prepared is what the schools build on and when the bedrock isn't there, what happens?

  Young ones are like sponges, they absorb what they see and hear. Haven't you noticed sometimes that it was when your little one got admitted to school he or she began to say or use some bitter words? Or he/she started doing some preposterous things that might shame one or even leave one bewildered? The truth is you can never be too sure what your little wards is exposed to when they are away. There are some boys and girls who have become homosexuals because of early exposure and no parent attention or scrutiny, while unfortunately some have been abused even by those who teach or ought to guide and guard them. 

    We are not saying here that parents shouldn't take or send their wards to school; neither are we saying it is bad, because we all know how important it is. We also know that both parent needs to work sometimes to make ends meet so as to survive. Still our maximum focus is, it is important, ideal and very essential for parents to do their own special and God-given homework before they send their children out, because we all know the saying "  failure to plan is tantamount to planning to fail"  Finally, parents even when your child needs to stay out long in school because of extra classes, be observant, approachable, be kind enough to teach them and vigilant to warning signs.

     Be the school your child deserves and needs before and after you send them off to school.  Please stay connected for more.

MacKennery Heartz

a touch of mine

SEARCHING, DISCOVERING AND LEARNING (The Pillars of Patience)

    There's a Yoruba proverbs that states " the cure to a headache isn't beheading oneself".Overtime I've come to the realization of this fact. I call it a fact because in each of our various and peculiar lives we have this desire to achieve something at a particular time, but due to unforeseen occurrence(s) or 'time and tide' our wishes weren't met and we sometimes feel like a failure. The most frustrating and heart rendering part is when we keep trying and trying, yet " the cutlass keeps falling on the flat side" (Yoruba adage). But during the course of all these events, who do we blame? Who do we suspect as the culprit of this failure? And what can we do to keep a free, open and a restful mind during the course of all these events?

     To begin, let's address the first question. For many, they blame no one else than their loving Creator. Why do we say so? They believe that God knows and sees everything yet He sits up there and does nothing to alter the situation. Many times when tragedy strikes, people tend to use this common expression " God gives and takes". But that thought is fact fully wrong" Why? There's no loving father who will intentionally hurt or punish a child grossly even if the crime seems far-fetched. A loving father would seek other means to adjust the punishment even the child deserves one. So if an imperfect man has that ability to love his or her child despite the failings, then how much more an Impeccable Almighty Father!

    This brings us to another point, so if it isn't God, who could be the suspect to this occurrences? Sometimes without acknowledging it or seeing the true picture because of our imperfect tendencies, some of the blame could come from us and not the work of the world as some believe. Remember, when you point a finger to someone, other fingers are doing the same to you. The problems or glitches we encounter or have encountered may sometimes be due to lack of good judgment, false reasoning, not knowing the facts or impatience. As humans sometimes because of how smart, clever, intelligent or confident we are, we choose not to see our lapses or mistakes we've made or still making. But as mentioned earlier, time and tide or unforeseen occurrence might be a cause of hindrance too. But what can we do to keep a positive outlook?

    A Yoruba adage says "when a child falls, he or she looks forward, but when an adult does, he or she looks behind". What does this mean? For whichever or whatever problems we encounter, we need to regurgitate and regrind it in our mind to see if there was or there is something lacking. For instance, we could invest in a business or be running one which didn't go well or isn't presently, it's important to do something. What if it's relationships or marriage, you seem to have done all you could or be doing all you can presently, but isn't working. It could be an issue in relation to securing and retaining a job too. You need to really ponder on this question: What can I do to maintain a positive outlook during this phase?

    For every human there is a beginning. According to research, we are most intelligent when we were babies. We acquire millions of *knowledge at that stage, but as we grow older we include *wisdom and understanding* Now, if something isn't going as we project or plan and we begin to get tired and frustrated to the point of giving up, don't go blaming or pointing fingers, the missing link and solution lies within you. What is it you may ask? I could leave you hanging right here to keep you wondering, but I wouldn't want you to become a wanderer (Smiling). We need to go back to the baby like part of heart. We have to: Search(seek) - What did I or am I doing wrong?

Find(discover) - Why did I do it this way? Learn(Knowledge and Wisdom) - What things do I need to do to become better?* At this point the best quality we all need is *PATIENCE* It is the quality that can aid us to seek, discover and know how not to probably make the same or new mistakes. So conclusively, in relation to the first adage quoted, putting a gross end to a supposed business, marriage, job or relationship isn't the goal, rather take your time.

MacKennery Heartz

@atouchofmine

Please like on facebook @ the page above. Thank you.